grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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