Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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