It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
