Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize