I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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