i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
