ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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