I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
i out mim tonsoeep
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