i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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