His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
