i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
