Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize