Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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