trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize