Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
