Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
