I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he fucked my hip out of place.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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