I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
