I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
