dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
