I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
