dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
