That's intense
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
