dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Randomize
