girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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