she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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