im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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