she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
