I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
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