he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
