Fine. I'll sleep in my office
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
