I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
