Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
How external is "for external use only"?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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