i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize