Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
