Pappa wants mamma naked
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
