pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
