Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
