Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
