Kiss
Puke
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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