This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
