Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
