Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I just cut my nipple shaving

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.

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(845): View more from New York

He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.

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(712): View more from Iowa

whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?

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(325): View more from Texas

how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit

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(516): View more from New York

the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY

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(209): View more from California

His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.

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(925): View more from California

I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??

(510): View more from California

I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5

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