This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
