The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
