yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
