I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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