This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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