im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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