ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
