It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
