I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
