Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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