"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Congratulations! We have a period
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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