i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
