i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
