I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We have started to decorate penises.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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