lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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