saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Randomize
