Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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