I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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