they need to just BURY HIM!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize