North Korea, Best Korea!
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
