i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
