I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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