Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
